Hello, welcome to our Website of Center of Conscious Relationships. We are David R. McCann and Janis E.McCann. We are licensed clinical Psychotherapists, personal and relational coaches. We are here to talk with you about how we can help you. Regarding this Website, we invite you to explore by reading and clicking on hyperlinks as you read along, or clicking on the tabs that are of interest to you.
Are you currently in a relationship that is in trouble? Are you wondering what happened to that person you fell in love with? Wouldn’t you like to rediscover the love you once had and make it last forever?
Or maybe you’re a newly wed couple preparing for marriage, and your deepest wish is to create a true partnership that will stand the test of time?
Perhaps you are not currently in a relationship—because you are just plain fed up with falling in love with somebody who never seems to meet your needs?
We’re here to tell you that we can help you discover—or re-discover—the relationship you dreamed of when you fell in love. We offer in our work a process of healing dialogue and re-connection. Simply put, it is a new way to love. It is called “Imago Relationship Therapy.” You will hear and read more about that as you peruse this Website.
Right now we want to tell you a bit about us, and how we came to do this work.
You see, just like you, we fell in love many years ago. We believed it was forever—even though we both had been married before and divorced—and we had vowed that we would never make the same mistakes again. Like you, and countless others all over this planet who fall in love, we felt that marvelous feeling of aliveness and wholeness, totally connected to everybody and everything!
Like you, and just about every couple we’ve met and worked with, we had to learn that romantic love, the magical feeling that we have found the “perfect partner” and that our dreams have been answered–that love fades, and we end up feeling disillusioned, angry and betrayed.
When this happened we did what most couples do when facing this awful disillusionment—we tried anything we could to coerce our partner into giving us what we needed. We criticized, we withdrew, we shamed, we intimidated, and we cried.
We could have gone on for years locked in this power struggle, until we broke up—or we could have taken the route many couples do who stay together “for the good of the children”—or the “estate,” and live like two ships passing in the night, no love, no passion, no communication. We chose the third way—to seek help, and we found Imago Relationship Therapy. We attended a workshop for couples entitled “Getting the Love you Want,” and what we learned in that workshop so many years ago not only changed our relationship, it changed our lives.
We learned that romantic love is the way God, or Nature, seeks to restore the feeling of aliveness we felt as a child, somewhere back there, perhaps even in our mother’s womb, where we felt enveloped, protected, and safe. We learned that our unconscious works like a heat-seeking missile, zeroing in on a partner that emotionally resembles our primary caretakers in both positive and negative ways. We learned that this is called our “Imago Match” —the word Imago means “image” in the original Latin—and our Imago is a kind of imprint of both positive and negative qualities of our original caretakers that we carry around until we find somebody to fall in love with to fit that unconscious image. We also learned that it is the negative part of that amalgam of positive and negative that creates confusion and disillusionment in relationships.
But then the thing that really blew our minds about all of this was to learn that out of all this confusion and disillusionment we could find everything we need for healing and growth!
So, what we offer couples and individuals, in our workshops, in our therapy sessions, and in our private intensive retreats, is a toolbox of communication skills that are necessary for transforming your relationship, as well as offering you some relief.
If we do not understand that romantic love has an unconscious, hidden agenda, then we will go on making the same mistakes. We will not understand that conflict and confusion in a relationship are trying to tell us that growth is trying to happen. The Imago Dialogues we learned have taught us, and now help us to teach couples, that our original romantic love can evolve through conflict to connection and the powerful bond of real love.
We believe and we practice in our own relationship that Imago therapy creates a sacred space for healing and growth that can lead you to the relationship of your dreams.
After perusing this Website and following the links, if you still have questions about our work, just Contact Us anytime.