What we have come to see in our thirty-plus years of working as psychotherapists, twenty of those specializing in working with couples, is that no matter where you go on the planet, humans being crave and seek intimacy. However, our world’s dominant culture does not cultivate love and intimacy, so focused it is on doing and making and producing and putting profits before people, that finding and maintaining an alive connection with an intimate partner requires a whole new vision and approach. As part of that vision we understand that personal love is God’s—or Nature’s—way of calling us to awaken to our deepest nature.
We are committed in our own relationship, and in our coaching of couples, to the belief that long-term committed relationship is the most powerful vehicle for this awakening, because it opens and expands us, at the same time that it stirs up reactive patterns from the past that stop us from being loving presences. Our work with couples—and with ourselves—reminds us that our little egos, our reactive selves, intersect with our larger, expansive, open selves, and at this intersection a sacred space opens where genuine transformation takes place. When this happens we know that we are on a sacred path.
We have learned that genuine intimacy does not take place if we do not connect with our loved ones at the level of our beingness. This is why we emphasize in our workshops and private retreats exercises in shifting from our conditioned personality into our true and real being where each of us is the most present in ourselves, so that we can connect, communicate, and commune with our beloved. While we believe that our Imago dialogues and processes are among the best techniques and strategies to help get couples re-connected, that sense of presence, that deeper quality of being present with our partner, which we encourage and facilitate throughout our work, precedes and exceeds any communication strategy or technique.